My name is Phineas Bounderby. I'm from the Kingdom of Ozymandias, and I'm visiting the states to do research into a common species known as wingnutus crackpotus (the Common Wingnut), and am occasionally turning my attention to its closely related cousin the wingnutus dingbatus.
Many of my colleagues doubt the usefulness of this research, as the Common Wingnut seems to have lost a great deal of territory in the past few years. But one thing I've discovered about the wingnut is that it's highly resilient and energetic. In 2006 I witnessed a flock of wingnuts dive headlong into an active volcano. It was only a minor setback for the wingnut population as a whole though. Within a few weeks the population had grown to its full strength, and was screeching, yammering, and gibbering away as if the catastrophe had never occured.
I hope you'll find my research not only useful, but fun. Because Wingnuts are hilarious animals, and their antics keep me amused for many hours. While I wouldn't exactly describe them as intelligent, they can be surprisingly clever and resourceful, and they are always fun to watch if one approaches the research in the correct spirit.
I hope these short articles will give you insight into the antics of the wingnut. While the life of the wingnut may often seem to revolve around pointless activity alternating between the repetitive and the erratic, there are quite a few patterns which recur, and observing wingnuts can be educational both for the professional researcher and for the layperson.